'I get a lot of abuse because of my children's surnames'
Laura says she used to feel like a bad parent but as she gets older, she cares less about what people think
A mum says she is branded a "slapper" for having four children by three different dads - and says the judgment of being a "4x3 mum" makes her feel like a "bad parent". Laura Monnery, 36, had her first daughter Georgia, now 20, when she was 16.
She later had Aimee, 17, with a different partner, before going on to have Olivia, 10, and Jacob, six, with her husband Adam, 31. Laura, who works in insurance, says she has been branded a “slapper” and told “ew, that’s disgusting” and “your poor children” because her children have three different dads.
But Laura is pushing back against backlash, and says she doesn't regret her decisions. Laura, from Littlehampton, West Sussex, said: "I've got to the point now - I don't know if it's because I'm older but I just don't care what people think. It’s my life, I know what I have done. I know that I do good and my kids are happy and I’m a good mum."
Laura fell pregnant with her first child Georgia when she was 15 and about to sit her GCSEs. She said: “As well as the stigma of getting multiple dads anyway I also had to struggle with the fact that I had my eldest daughter at 16."
Laura recalls being forced to continue wearing her school uniform while heavily pregnant, which led to bullying. She said: "I used to get called a slag. They said that they were going to kick the baby out of me and kill it after school."
Laura was then moved to a school specifically for pregnant teens. The school, based in London, consisted of six girls, all pregnant, who were taught their basic English, maths and science alongside childcare and development. "It was lovely," she said. "It was nice because every one of us was in the same situation as me so I felt comfortable."
She sat her GCSEs a week after giving birth, and managed to secure a C in English and Ds in maths and science. Laura split with Georgia’s dad after three years when her daughter was a baby and went on to have Aimee in her late teens with a new partner.
That relationship lasted eight years but broke down, leaving Laura a single mum-of-two. She later met Adam, an engineer, and the couple married in August 2017 and had two more children, Olivia and Jacob. But despite being settled and happy, Laura says the stigma has followed her throughout her adult life.
She said: “You do have that stigma of 'oh you’ve got lots of kids with different dads, you’re a slapper', when that’s not always the case - things happen. I was young. I was stupid, in bad relationships and it took me until I got a bit older, settled, married, and then you accept it and go on to have more kids.”
Laura says the cruellest comments come online. She said: “On social media people say things like ‘ew that's disgusting', 'how can you do that', 'you must be a slag', 'your poor children'.
"It doesn’t make you a bad parent because of it but you feel like it. It makes me feel like a bad parent.”
But the biggest challenge, Laura says, is not the backlash, but her children all having different surnames. She said: “My biggest issue is my children not all having the same name. So them all having a different surname, it kind of gives you a bit of mum guilt.
"You're here as a family, yet you've got children with different surnames. It's difficult with doctors and things like that. I get embarrassed. I'm like what if they’re going to think badly of me. Or going on holiday as a family with passports, because you hear all these horror stories of you needing dad's permission if surnames are different and things like that as well.
"It can be stressful. I feel embarrassed even talking to people about it. I think there’s even people now where it’s not that I lie, I just don’t elaborate that my two eldest are by different dads. I just let them make their own mind up."
Now she has hit back at those judging her for being a '4x3 mum'. She said: "I would basically say to the people trolling, think twice before you even say anything. "You don’t know that person's situation. The one thing I always think is, why do you care about what other people do in their life anyway?
"So what if one lady has got 10 different baby fathers. It doesn't matter. Never judge a book by its cover. I feel proud to prove people wrong. I still think to this day my children make me the person I am. I don't think I would ever change that."